Happy 2019 sweet friends!! I hope your first week of this new year has been full of peace and rejoicing, we have another year!
Honestly, I’ve never had a personal liking for New Year Resolutions. There is always so much about me I have felt I need to grow in or be better at, I’m never completely satisfied completely with where I’m at (something God is working on in my lil heart, but that’s a different blog post). Whenever I have tried resolutions in the past I honestly end up feeling overwhelmed because there’s so much emphasis put on one goal when in the back of my mind there are so many different things I want to pour into to better myself.
BUT this is my first year seeing the whole “one word to focus on all year” shenanigan and I love it, because it allows me to focus on my life as a whole rather than one goal to the extreme.
Before we dive into my word of the year, I wanted to give a little background on how I got here. There were several periods in 2018 where I just felt empty. I constantly struggled with finding my worth and value. And time and time again God would meet me and remind me in my darkest corners that I find my meaning in Christ, unwavering and eternal. He would remove the power earthly things were having over me (my own thoughts, conversations with other people, my circumstances) and I would find peace. And then the process would repeat. This year after praying to God asking how I can better serve Him this year and what He’d like of me, and spending some serious time self-reflecting, it finally became clear. I want to spend this year digging deeper into getting to know and trust the value Christ sees in me, and from that acceptance allowing my life to bloom accordingly. So here it is! My word for 2019:
In 2018 I worked. I worked and I slept. I spent a lot of time living outside of my means, which is why I thought I needed to work so much. After switching to that lifestyle I grew exhausted and irritable, and somehow along the way I lost a bit of my spirit and thirst for life. And goodness, what a terrible feeling that was. When you feel empty, you feel like you have nothing to offer. And from there it’s easy to find worth at what’s around you, what you see, rather than turning back to God for peace. Part of me has felt empty for a while, God knows I’ve known it and He’s encouraged on multiple accounts “why not let go of that and do something that feeds your heart instead? Mariah what are you doing to take care of you?” I ignored His questions and focused on work. Barely making it day to day because I was so overworked and exhausted, and certainly not giving my all to anything else, including my relationship with Him, my boyfriend, my family and friends, and my health both mentally and physically.
This year I am going to live with intention. When God created me He gave me this relentless spirit for life, adventurous and spontaneous to explore His creation. I am curious and passionate, I love visiting new places and meeting new. I love trying new things. This last year along with my shackles, I was caged. I caged my spirit and essentially said “no, not now. now’s not a good time” for an entire year. Instead of pouring into what brings my heart JOY I poured into a job that in five years will not matter to me nearly as much as what made my spirit happy. I am PUMPED to get back to being me, and taking time within each week to broaden what I make time for, incorporating more of what God wants of me and less of labor and “have-to” activities.
Living with intention starts with accepting God’s intentions for me as my definition. From there, everything I do, every decision I make, will be intentionally rooted in that definition. The relationships I pursue, how I spend my time, what I will and will not participate in. From things as simple as a conversation to as impactful as where I live and the people I surround myself with. This is all dictated by what my intentions are, and this year I want them rooted in Christ alone.
And I am so darn excited!
Do you have a word for the year? Whether you’re a word of the year kind of person, a resolution kind of person, or neither, I pray that this year finds you new joys and more stillness, whether that’s rekindling things from the past, forgiveness, less or more. I pray that you find NEWness and JOY, wherever you are at.